For those of you who are curious about the outcome of the third Eating Competition… or, better yet, about what happened to the poor individual who believed that he could win against “the thing…”
Having witnessed my two predominant victories in the Eating Competitions against Don Juan and Pinky, we, the Cosmopolitan Residents were very confident about my coming victory. Therefore, we were thinking about a really hard wager. Honestly, when you have so many options—shaving hair, dying hair, running around in women’s clothes—it is really hard to choose one.
Until Friday, the traditional Eating Competition Day, this time December 3rd, we couldn’t agree on the wager. But finally the opponent himself helped us. Full of confidence, he agreed in his pre-competition interview to the following: In case he loses (zero probability, according to him), he has to dye his hair green and run across the quad in a Speedo.
By that time no doubt was in his mind, and he was looking forward to the apple strudel he had helped prepare for seven hours. Yes, SEVEN hours! But the third Eating Competition attracted many spectators, and they weren’t witnessing it on an empty stomach. Thus, about 12 strudels were prepared and eventually eaten.
Being perfectly prepared for my favorite dish and having received a supportive call from my family, with the order to “Eat him under the table,” I was ready to face my challenge. My opponent, a two-meter tall swimmer and very good sprinter, might be faster than me in a swimming pool, but soon he could not keep up with my eating-speed. Each minute that passed made his confident smile fade, and the time he needed to chew a single bite steadily increased. In the end, he was not able to swallow a single bite anymore, and he started to look like a hamster with his cheeks filled with strudel. Despite the strong support of his friends, his stomach couldn’t win the race and he had to throw in the towel.
It took him about 1 hour 30 minutes to realize and accept that there is only one true “master of Eating as much as possible,” and that’s me!
About one month later he got his hair dyed, and ran in a memorable manner in his Speedo over the quad. I want to remind you, that this was in January and it was very, very cold!!!
I hope by now it is evident to everyone that nobody can win against “the thing”!!! If not, I am looking forward to see purple hair!!!
Daniela Lindner is a 23-year-old doctoral candidate in Physics. She comes from Bavaria, her most favorite region in Germany. She is responsible for all of the Bavarian dishes you have enjoyed during the German dinners and coffee hours this year. Her apple strudel is a cult classic.