I lived in Champaign-Urbana from 1997 to 2002 and I used to be a very active person at the Cosmopolitan Club, hosting many Brazilian dinners and coffee hours. It's been a little more than year since I left. I moved to Memphis, Tennessee, for two very important reasons: to start a life together with my longtime boyfriend, Angelo Pascale, and to work as a postdoc at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. For those who have never heard about Memphis, it's where Elvis Presley's house is located and where everybody comes every year to celebrate his birthday and his death.
The day I arrived in Champaign-Urbana in 1997 and the day I left are still in my memory. It was the first time I left my parents home to live by myself and I definitely learned a lot from the experience. I don't have to say I miss those years a LOT! Dinners and coffee hours at the Cosmopolitan Club, movies at Savoy theaters, volleyball with Cosmo friends, ice-skating at the U of I ice arena, bowling at the Illini Union, salsa dancing at Regent's… I made many friends in Champaign and I'm glad I'm able to keep in touch with some of them. The Cosmopolitan Club is always a great place to make friends.
Andrea Shields asked me to write something for this Spring Newsletter. Although she suggested that I write about what I'm doing now, nothing is really new; except for the fact that I'm finally able to be together with the person I love. I'm still doing research as usual. I definitely don't do what I used to do at Cosmo. Unfortunately, there's no such a thing here in Memphis. I thought it was a good idea to write about how important it is that I still keep in touch with some of the friends I met at the Cosmo house and how we do it. Like me, most of them left a long time ago.
I have to say that the person that made it possible for us to try keep in touch is Pratik Singh. He is always trying to keep this friendship flame burning. He was the first friend I made when I arrived in the US and I hope we can still be friends for a long time. It is always through him that I get to know what is going on with some old friends. Pratik himself is a married man now. He has a wonderful wife, Hema. I'm really happy for them. Last year Angelo and I visited them in San Diego, where they are currently living. Pratik and Hema are great hosts and we had the opportunity to see lots of different places that reminded us of our hometown, Rio de Janeiro, in Brazil. I think that made it more special. The good thing about living in a nice place is that everybody wants to visit you. Of course this can be good and bad. They do need some vacation also.
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| Pratik, Angelo, Claudia, and Hema in San Diego |
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Joe and Shola |
Some people say that weddings and funerals are the places where we usually meet those that we haven't seen in a long time. I'm glad for now it's just in weddings that I've been seeing my friends again. First it was at Yasemin and John's wedding. They now have a baby boy and the last time I saw them was at my farewell party.
Last year, at my best friend's wedding, I had the opportunity to see three other friends I made at the Cosmopolitan Club around the same time I met Pratik: Joe, Shola, and Stefan. Joe is attending med school in Chicago and, as far as I know, is still single. I haven't seen him since then. Shola and Stefan also got married and now are expecting their first child. It is very good to see that everybody is doing great!
Last time I went to Brazil, I met a Brazilian friend that I also got to know in Champaign, in this island, in the middle of nowhere. Her name is Ines. How can it be? We took different boat trips that stopped at the same island at the same time. I think we were meant to see each other again.
What about the friends I left in Brazil? Just a few are still present in my life, maybe the real ones. The first time I said goodbye to my best friend Sergio when he went back to Brazil, I cried thinking I wouldn't see him again. Guess what? I not only saw him again just once, but many other times. Now I know we will always be friends so I don't cry anymore when I say goodbye to him. This month I'll go to the wedding of one of the guys that used to play in the band I used to sing. I didn't think twice about deciding to go. It's a time to see not just him, but other friends too.
I already have a friend that I met here in Memphis that moved to New York. Although we spent a short time together and she already left, the friendship is strong and I believe it will survive for a long time. Time doesn't matter when we are talking about friendship. The friends I met in Champaign will always be in my memory, too many to list here. What is better than good memories? Thanks to the Cosmopolitan Club dinners and coffee hours.
Life keeps changing. I do think God tries to keep people together, but we have to do our part. Friendship can be compared to different things. It is like a tree that needs water to grow. It's a two-way street in which both ways contribute to the regular traffic. It's important to remember that for a friendship to exist, we need at least two people. If the effort to keep in touch comes from just one side, the possibility that it will fail is huge.
So call your friend now. If calling is too expensive, e-mail, or write a letter. Just remember how good it is to have him or her as a friend. For all my friends that are reading these lines right now, I'm really glad we are still friends and that we are surviving despite the distance.