A big part of who we are is context. We are lost without it. Mine is Romania. It is also writing and observing other people’s context.
Andres’s context is Venezuela. Since he was born in Brazil and has been living in the United States for eight years, these countries are also part of his history, as are his respect for family, admiration for his mother, humane beliefs and watching Oprah while eating the pasta he cooked.
Moussa’s context starts with Ivory Coast and might very well end with the world, as he studies geography.
Ajay does not like to be alone. He is practical and has very good ideas about how to make things work. He is curious and wants to learn new things, such as playing bowling or learning how to play the piano. He too respects his family tremendously. He believes in free will and in people’s ability to control their own actions.
Kimiko’s context is Japan. She likes pretty things. She also likes candles and can do wonders with floral arrangements. Life should be about having fun, she said. Once in a while, she likes to listen to other people.
Daniela comes from Germany and likes to talk about Bavaria, the region where she was born. She divides people into either black or white. They are either good or bad. Those who are good have found in her an unconditional friend. As part of her context, she solves physics impossibilities and makes the best apple strudel.
Felix likes the outdoors. He likes to teach but even more to enjoy life. Felix appreciates good friends, good music, and good food. His context is very much intertwined with nature.
Anand’s context is India. It also has to do with artificial intelligence, greeting people in their own languages and seeing all sides of one issue.
Ana’s context is also Romania. She comes from a beautiful old city in the east of the country. Her story has a lot to do with numbers and mathematical formulas. She is also very curious and asks a lot of questions.
Ingomar’s context is the Netherlands. On occasion, he will refer to it as “the coolest country in the world.” His context also refers to animals and getting up very early in the morning. He also makes the strongest coffee in the house.
Sheila likes Japanese arcade games and John Cusack movies. Her context is Malaysia and her religion. She does not like people who mope a lot and I maintain that she just might be one of the better cooks I have seen.
Young Jae’s context is Korea. It also revolves around the piano and computer games.
International students in Champaign or elsewhere leave a little of their context behind. I left mine with my parents. With my work in the newsroom. With my friends. On a tiny deserted Romanian beach called Vama Veche (Old Border). On a mountain trail in the Carpathians. In Bucharest, my city, on every one of its streets. A foreigner will never fully understand what I left behind, should I choose to try and explain and he to listen.
Moussa will never manage to tell us how much the recent conflict in the Ivory Coast has affected him. And there is a good chance that I did not understand my housemates’ contexts.
Inside Cosmopolitan club however, we can expand them. We can try to talk about our countries and differences or we can start over and make new contexts. And sometimes, a new context is forced upon us.
Three weeks ago, Stefan, our housemate and friend, went to heaven. Those were two very absurd days and they have left behind an infinity of questions and a lot of confusion. We are not immortal, but we shouldn’t find this out at 22.
We all have pieces of Stefan. We watched movies together. We talked about communism, economics, leadership, the meaning of numbers, going to war, or about the United States during the four months that we spent together at Cosmo. He came from Germany. He cooked pancakes for us. He had an amazing smile. He always forgot his keys and had to ring at the doorbell. He never passed on a conversation in the middle of the night. He always had an idea ready for debate and he always backed his opinions with arguments. He had a copy of Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s “Love In the Time of Cholera.” In our minds, there are a million more memories just as these.
And then, there are pieces of Stefan we never knew. There are memories that are just beginning to make sense. Stefan himself was trying to make sense of things. Because at 22, this is what we do. We test our ideas against others. We speak up and then we are amazed of hearing our voice, increasingly distinct.
We didn’t understand the way the world works before. We still don’t. What happened to Stefan made us angry and it made us feel powerless. But if I had a choice, I wouldn’t give these four months back. We are all lucky to have met Stefan and each other. And we are not powerless. Our eyes are open now.
Candles burn in memory of Stefan